please indulge me

(minutes before i am writing this post)

me: helo?
sis: helo? ko?
me: helo~! =)
sis: are u sleeping?
me: *snooorrrrreeeee*
sis: *giggles* stop la
me: *snnnorreeee* *snore snore* *snnnoorrreeeee*
sis: wei, stop la
me: *snore*
sis: *giggles* are u planning to do anything for mother's day?
me: *snore snore snore* (i dont know)
sis: what? eh i dun understand la...
me and sis: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaha

*fast forward*

sis: okay bye
me: bye~!
sis: bbyyyeeee
me: byebye!
sis: byeeeee
me: bye~!
sis: *giggles* eh this is so wrong... im not even talking to my boyfren...!!
me: yea..hahaha.... 'you put down first; no, you put down first; no, yoouuu put down first'....
sis: *giggles*
me: *giggles*
sis: bye... im realy putting down the phone wan ah
me: bye.....
sis: .......
me: hello? ......hello?
sis: ........
me: oh great, she really did hang up...hahaha


just thought i'd share with you how random both of us can be...=)

missing u my dear sister..=)

Dear You

will you take my hand and scream till the night falls away?
will you dance with me, tipsy and bare footed, under the pouring rain?
will you run with me, pausing to catch a breath, only to taunt me for another round?
will you take a drive with me along hillsides and seasides, as we watch the sun take rest?
will you sit with me under candle lights and paper birds as we count the time away?
will you lie with me under the vast night sky and count the stars one by one?
will you sit next to me under the summer sun, bedazzled by the rainbow in the sky?
will you stand with me at the edges of the beach as the waves bury our feet in the sand?
will you sing with me and laugh ourselves silly at the end of the day?
will you scream and jump with me when you have finally reached the top?
will you pass me that tissue box as you pretend to be crying as well, as we watch a soapy movie?
will you wake me up in the morning with Honey Stars in your hair?
will you let me sing to you even when you know i'd mess it up anyway?
will you let me hold your hand even when all is crashing down on you?
will you let me see you even when you dont feel deserving anymore?
will you pick me up even when i have given u a reason not to?
will you pray with me, every night before we lay to rest, every morn before we rise to live?
will you wait with me, everyday till the day we meet again under that february tree?
will you know that i am here? always here...everyday here....

but unfortunately, dear you, you don't exist..........=) and i guess it doesnt matter....because perfection is not mine to deserve.... i will just settle for warm and fuzzy, i guess...=)

i still smell of hydrogen peroxide!!!!!!

guess what i found this morning????


i was like OMG....my fav "RED-N-ORANGE-STRIPEY-SHIRT-FROM-HONGKONG"!!!!!!!!! wat happened????!!!!! ..... silly dye lar wat else? =( i guess i was to hyped up on saturday night that i didnt notice it....

so anyway...for those who still arent aware... the RRREEEDDDDD Surprise that was due on the 3rd of May is my hair... yes... no more virgin hair...lol.....who cares..? im 21~! lol....


this pose is for my sister... since u liked it so much...for wateva reason i shant request to know...=D no doubt i was feeling warm and fuzzy... lol.... i was camwhoring in the toilet!!!! of the architecture building!!! ....im changing... haha.... anyway... this was taken on monday night after i came from the city...*warm and fuzzy* lol =)






signing off, yours truly....

would you give me time? would you let me learn?

my feet is starting to smell... eww... i can smell it from here....eeww

okay... sorry to start off with my randomness... but yea *sniff*... eeww.... LOL =)

at least im not bringing my lappie into the toilet anymore...LOL....eww! u thought i ws for real??...haha...

i know many of you have been asking how was my birthday... two words.. no, wait, three words... WARM N FUZZY..=)

but if u need more details, just make an appointment with me on msn...lol...=) just that its too long a story... better if you heard it straight off from my lips, better... =)

but ah... rmb the two promises i made? i think stumbled just now... it was SO easy to give in... sigh... yes... big boy already... gotta grow up.... =( but in any case, i thank God for pulling me back before i could have fallen... cos i know i rather wait till its safe to land, the long fall back to earth is the hardest part...

why i said my brithday was warm and fuzzy cos it was really one of a kind... it the only birthday so far where i got such a strong visitation of God... that morning at church i cried like a baby... and i kept crying.... i went on my knees and gave it all to God... all the unanswered questions... all the hidden hurts... all the avoided uncertainties... all possibilities of a future and hope.... i gave it all back..... it was difficult... but it was liberating... some of em asked me how was my bday... and i said liberating.. they gave me that weird look... lol.... but i know what i meant....

but today, just now, i fumbled... again, easily satisfied with progress... again easily put off track cos of a lil sweetness... richard....focus! i felt quite bad after that... felt that i dissappointed myself, dissappointed my friend, dissappointed God... =( but its funy how God always turns the table around everytime i do my devo....

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come
(2 Corinthians 5:17)

salvaton is not to be taken for granted... freedom is not us to take for granted... as much as we are free... we have to constantly seek restoration... restoration is total healing... but healing will take some time... always be mindful of ur actions... always be mindful of who u are... always be mindful of the prize... the goal.... the end....

so i am sorry... i slipped up today... dear friend, i wonder if you'd read this at all, but thank u, u never fail to keep me in check...=)

but dont worry... richie is up and running again... somehow i guess that sunday morning when i laid it all down at His Feet... power came... and somehow its easier now...

i mean, not just in this area, but in others as well... =)

like guys, i am like SO challenged to live my life to the full now.. like, i am asking myself so many 'why not's... like, why not go play soccer?... why not go throw some hoops?.... they're all not so bad.... why not try something else other than architecture? why not just live life to the full? so what if u may not get a job yet? whats stopping u from trying something else? and seriously i asked myself (believe or not)- why not try fishing as well? it may be fun... ( OMG...what is happening to me????? ...LOL) but yea, why not? i was like so skeptical about so many things, but after that encounter with God, i just feel...different.....

and my walk with God is so much more intimate now... like how i asked if i'd know how it feels like to love God like a lover? i think i am learning that more and more each day...=) He is like so much closer now... in morning when i wake...before i sleep.. when i bath... when i cycle... when im at uni...when im eating... He is like always there...=)

so yea, let go! live life! its a ball! get bouncing!! wee~!! (okay i need my pills...lol)



Lesson one - do not hide
Lesson two - there are right ways to fight
And if you have questions
We can talk through the night

Lesson three - you're not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run, this
will still be your home

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to
wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling,
bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence

There will be liars and
thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
And when you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you

If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one

Boys (Lesson One) by Jars of Clay

okay people... back to talking about warm and fuzziness... =)

i actually had a whole list of warm and fuzzy things to share with u about... but i decided i shouldnt.. cos warm and fuzzy should be left for God... cos He is just so awesome...

it is When God tells me He loves me. When all I know is that I do not deserve His love but yet He chooses to love without any reason at all.. and to just love me.. that’s what I call warm and fuzzy… it’s the best warm and fuzzy u can ever get in this whole wide world… it is a love that the world can never take away… a warm and fuzzy that cannot be replaced… *sob* =)

that's warm and fuzzy to me..=)

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us
(Romans 5:8).

that warm fuzzy feeling =)

the scarf felt different today on my walk back home... it was warmer... nicer.... and it somehow still lingers on.... yea i walked home... i didnt take the tram... i walked to uni and took my bike home.... but all the way i felt this warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart... and i know it was smiling..=)

i even had the mood to camwhore after peeing...=P




so in the spirit of warm and fuzziness, i will dedicate this post to just that - warm and fuzziness...=)

warm and fuzzy is when:

***SORRY.... I WANNA SLEEP...TOO TIRED.... LOL.... BUT I PROMISE I WILL CONTINUE TMR....***

to be continued...

tonight while Agnes prayed i couldn't help but smile the moment her words left her lips

"You will make all things beautiful in Your time..."

i guess it just made the night all so much easier... i didnt really bothered being bothered... it got easier, definitely... to just be myself and to just let go... to face that smile and choose to acknowledge in my heart that You are smiling back down on me...=)

i must say tho that during practice i was extraordinarily quiet... lol.... cos SOMEBODY claims that i talk too much... that respect should be given to the person in charge... in this case turned out to be wil... so i kept queit.. andrew was always on the edge tho... wih big hand gestures and escentric expressions... but somehow no one had a problem with that... which begged the question, am i doing it wrong? why doesnt he get the cold shoulder? ah i dont wanna care... as long as the arrangement is done correctly... altho i must say i kept queit for most parts and there is something missing...and true enough.... wil did pull me aside at the end of the night and asked me if i thought there was something wrong... haha... oh well....

and after that i had a LOOOOONNNGGGG chat with uncle frankie.... i thought of u know just being nice and say hi and all and u know have an inteest in his life and all... but wah... he kept on talking and talking and talking...lol.... i couldnt really stop him...lol.... he actually has facebook! and i added him already...haha

i think tmr is going to be fun... tmr is going to be very fun... =)

i actually told some of them that i have something up my sleeves this sunday... and kept them guessing... haha... im SO enjoying this...hehe.... be prepared for my total randomness...=D

***

and since im feeling a little old school... this is for you, where ever you are, no matter what you are doing... just know that i am thinking of you (and by 'you' i mean every one of u, not that it matters..)

You don't run with the crowd
You go your own way
You don't play after dark
You light up my day
Got your own kind of style
That sets you apart
Baby, that's why you captured my heart

I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in
And this world doesn't know what you have within
When I look at you, I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere (grow anywhere)
And there's no one I know that can compare

What makes you different, makes you beautiful
What's there inside you, shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

You got something so real
You touched me so deep
You see material things
Don't matter to me
So come as you are
You've got nothing to prove
You've won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you

What makes you different, makes you beautiful
What's there inside you, shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

You don't know how you touched my life
Oh in so many ways I just can't describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me

What makes you different, makes you beautiful
What's there inside you, shines through to me
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need
You're all I need, oh girl
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

Everything you do is beautiful
Love you give shines right through me
Everything you do is beautiful
Oh, you're beautiful to me

What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful To Me) by The Backstreet Boys