O-M-G

here i am sitting here in my room
still trying to digest what just happened
well.. not like the world ended
but i'm just so baffled at how many times God has proven Himself true to me
all the lil n random n often funny and unexpected ways
i just dunno what to say

when i needed an ironing board
He gave me one for plus size apparels and the board turned out SO huge..lol

when i needed a reason to smile
He gave me daffodils on the sidewalks and pretty cherry blossums to look at

when i needed proper food
He overloaded me with sushi and sushi and more sushi

when i needed a friend
He gave me the best bff ever =)

when i needed a family
He gave me everyone in RCC

and when i thought i have messed it all up because of my own procrastination and lack of wisdom in time management
He gave me a job interview

like can you believe it ??

just out of the blue..!!!!
i am just so lost for words...
this is really happening..



O-M-G....
O-M-G....
O-M-G....
O-M-G....
O-M-G....


haha.. ok i need to pee now.. bye

Dear Jubilee

Dear Jubilee

I sit here every night wondering how are you gonna be? yea, i know it's totally too early to think about it.. but sometimes i just cant help it..

will u have my eyes? no wait, no pls dont have my eyes (dear God, please take note..lol) i dont like em.. well, do me a favour, and look like ur mum! lol.. i bet she will be beautiful..=) but i hope you'd share my same sense of immature humour and laugh along with me whenever i try to cheer u up.. always dream big. because u have a God that is watching over you always, and you deserve the best...

have you seen mummy? well neither have i.. she's a mystery, that one.. never really understand or understood her till now.. quite honestly, i dont even know how she would look like... haha... you should pray along with me~ dont worry about me tho.. daddy will be fine.. just a lil confused... hopefully mummy will find her way home one day..=)

i know God is placing the lil pieces of you together right now.. deciding on which parts of me to include into your system.. haha.. but i know you will be beautiful..=) prolli God is planning out your life right now, all your hopes and dreams, all your tears and joy.. every single laughter and every single cry..hmm...

but always rmb everything happens for a reason and always know your existance will never be in vain.. always rmb your life has God sized dreams... and dont ever ever let your past dictate who you're gonna be... because you are Jubilee.. and you are special.. always will be...

Love,
Daddy

Small Gestures

Small gestures and simple pleasures
Always something we take for granted
But somehow, these few days, i get it a lot...

This week has been crazy crazy crazy
Firstly, my leg is a BIG pain in the butt
Cos for some strange a reason i cant figure out
I overworked my leg and now my thighs are so freaking weak
Cant even climb the stairs properly

And i am like trying to juggle between my portfolio and my current uni work...Felt so terrible on tuesday night cos i knew i could have come up with something way better than any of those .... well, common ideas that were being explored by the class... i just knew i can do better than that... but i spent so much time on my portfolio.. haiz... not dead yet.. still coping.. still alive! =)

but when i say simple pleasures.. well, its just the little things God would put along the way... just to make my life sweeter..

like.. somehow... as much as i was hating the fact that i have to walk to uni this week, and having my legs being such a pain... i noticed lil white daisies sprouting out all over the green strips along royal parade... i mean, they're so pretty~! haha.. small lil pretty things... quite nice to look at.. made my journey to uni that slightly better..=)

simple gestures like my lecturer postponing a lecture this week and resulting in my appointment with annemarie being postponed to next week as well... which gives me more time to work on my portfolio.. which consequently gives me more time to work on my studio idea..=)

and i guess one of the biggest example of God's faithfulness is what happened just now...

i didnt take my breakfast and had to rush to uni.. and when it was all over it was already 1.30pm... i didnt wanna spend money on lunch so i decided i should just go home and cook... and i had quite alot to carry.. and i was hungry enough to eat a cow and my legs were killing me.. and well, i was VERY TEMPTED to hitch a free ride from the trams...

and its funny how the devil likes to tempt us... cos when i walked out to the main road... the tram was already leaving the stop... so i was like .. ok whatever.. i missed it, just walk... then suddenly, i could see ANOTHER oncoming tram from the stop further down the road... and again.. VERY TEMPTED to get on it... besides.. no one checks ur ticket anyway once u left the city area... i stood at the stop and contemplated for quite a while.. haha...

but i decided i shouldn't anyway.. it's not right...=)

so i walked... with my headphones on.. i just sorta started to do some thinking... the walk didnt feel tiresome at all... and before i knew it, i was home...

but then i realized something... on my way home, i actually came up with a fantastic idea of what to do for my pop architecture project (just one of the many other things that i am trying to juggle with)...!!! and this idea actually happened ON MY WAY HOME...haha

and i realized that if i had hitched a free ride on that tram... i would mostly be SO pre-occupied with looking out for em tram officers that i would never have time to come up with this idea... !!! =)

so yea, God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.. even in little things such as not hitching a free ride from the tram... haha.. cos i think the idea i received is way more precious..=)

WEEK 2 OF UNI (AGAIN)

and so it begins, another week in uni...

this time i started out with sore thighs, arms and a sore back.. thanks to the game of paintball last saturday... i really need to work out more.. i mean, even siting down on my chair hurts~!!! LOL... crazy i know....

but what can i say? it has been a wonderful week... God opened many doors for me... nothing really concrete now, but it's a start...=) and it's really up to me now to make the most of them...

***

now on a side note... just wanna give a shout out to all T.U.G.ians and GTSDians!!!
HAPPY 17TH ANNIVERSARY~!!!!!!
was stalking Keng's fb.. and here's a few shots i love... =)

it was nice to see the Leong Family around again.. =)

goodness Keng.... Allison is becoming more like u~!! LOL

Pastor Helen and the worship band

i can't say that i do not miss you guys...
the time we painted the youth room with that dove
the time we came together to work out our first self written song
the time when all we had was a stereo for sound effects in our sketches
the time we shared in kids church and all that screaming
the time we presented our first fully self composed Christmas presentation
the time the invited pastor prophesied over our future as a youth group
the time where we had to relocate to a new building
the time where we had our first youth rally
the time where we had our first TUG race
the time where we had to learn table manners
the time where we had to learn self control and leadership by example
the time we hit 30 strong
the time pastor clement prophesied that we will no longer be the Upcoming Generation but the Ultimate Generation

all the times spent in the bus on the way to camp
all the times spent sleeping on the bus coming home from camp
all the times where we had to send ppl away
all the times where we celebrated someone's birthday
all the times we held hands and sang and jumped in unison

all the times we thought we were going to lose it
all the times we know we are undefeated

and i am sure there are more memories... too much to list down

after 17 years of being in almost every picture of the church... now tht i am not in any... makes me happy... cos the picture i see is a picture of a youth that is growing and will continue to grow.. i hear it is now 40 strong? touching 50 already? =)

keep it going.. you are the ultimate...

FIRST DAY OF UNI (AGAIN)

July is coming to an end already...

Time passes by so fast.. but when i come to think of it... I have learned a lot.. Grown a lot...

In a way i think life now makes a lot more sense... and my existence has got more meaning... because this time around it is up to me to make my own life...

No more living under the shadow of somebody else.. no more living on the faith of somebody else.. on the providence of somebody else... no more reaping the blessings of someone else's toil...

Time to make my own life... wear my own armour... fight my own battles....

And in a way.. life makes more sense this way... more meaning.. with a sense of purpose...=)

I feel that this year God is really teaching me faith... and it is very surprising how far i have gone in this department... to learn to let go...

Letting go... one of the hardest things i can do... i have an uncertainty avoidance personality, so what can i do? haha... i tend to wanna take control... and i guess in many ways when i am not in control... it scares me....

but it's amazing how much i have learned to let go.... and learning to have faith and not be afraid...

Staying all alone with house parents i never met before
Living by myself in a strange and foreign country
Adapting into a new school system
Writing my first research paper
Learning to control and manage my finances
Joining a church full of people i never knew
Learning to surrender my heart, my whole heart
Learning to seek God for an answer
Learning to be at peace with whatever God's answer will be, He still loves me and He's got it all planned out

and i guess in the same way

I am learning to be at peace that God will provide me with a job here

this is going to be a crazy semester...

the heat is ON..!!!!

I am falling down to reach you
Close my eyes to see you
Annihilate my body
Elevate my soul

I am coming round the corner
And looking over my shoulder
Living like its over
Cause all I want is You

All I want, all I want
This world called crazy all that's true tonight
All I want is You

I am taking hold of liberty
Counting on the mystery
Jumping for the energy
And going out of my mind

Cause You are speaking what can not be heard
Showing up where no one is expecting You
Taking up what no one is taking to
And that's why You are

All I want, all I want (that's what I want)
This world called crazy all that's true tonight
All I want is You

All I want, all I want (all I want)
This life is amazing the moment that I chose
All I want is You

All I want is You
All I want, All I want is You,
All I want is You, All I want is you

Speaking what can not be heard
Showing up where no one is expecting You
Taking up what no one is taking to
And that's why You are

All, All I want
All, All I want
Tonight all I want is You

All I want
All I want
This world called crazy all that's true tonight
All I want is You

All I want
All I want
This is life is amazing the moment that I choose
All I want is You

Cause You are Speaking what can not be heard
Showing up where no one is expecting You
Taking up what no one is taking to
Now all I want is You

All I Want by Jared Anderson

it's unfair isnt it?

very

as an unborn child, lil Rick choked himself with his umbilical cord in his mother's womb... cutting the oxygen supply to his brain... making him a born vegetable.. forever paralyzed...

the doctors recommended that he put to rest.. i'm sure if he could speak, he would ask for the same thing...

but his parents chose to keep him. Dick was his father...

one day in his primary years, Rick and Dick joined a marathon together... Rick was once an athlete so he pushed his son all the way to the finish line...

after the race, Rick told his father that when he was out there running, he felt normal again.. ever since then... Dick never stopped running... just so his son will feel normal again... to be normal... to be accepted....

and as the whole church fell silent watching the father and son duo make it thru the triathlon... i cant help but smile... but at the same time, i could not hold back what i know very well is tears at my eyes...

Dick would swim and drag Rick along with him on a inflatable boat... He would run with him, pushing him along on a wheeled basket... He would sit Rick in front of his bike and cycle with him...

everything just so his son would be normal again...


........


just so unfair isnt it?

but such is the love of God for me

i do feel retarded almost all the time... unlike Rick who was borned that way... i feel retarded coz i chose to be... and it's just all a mess....

but still God died for me

so unfair...

but such is the Father's love

God is like constantly reminding me of His love for me, again and again...

No more sorrow, no more pain...

You hold me now, You hold me now...