Well you thought you let go, but you’re still hanging on
Mother earth’s slowing down, she’s still spinning around
And we-eee, are gettin dizzy

I’ll drop out of the race for more personal space
Cuz the rocket’s we're in, get’s so cold and I miss your skin
that’s just how I’m feelin.

No unreachable itch, if you hemorrhage I’ll stitch
You are tears, I’m a cheek,
I’m a pail on your boat with slow leaks
out to sea for weeks

You’re my shirt, I an arm
I’m the tick, you’re the bomb
You’re the L and the V, I’m the O and the E, and we…
Am I speaking clearly?


I don’t understand why we can’t get close enough
I want your kite strings tangled in my trees all wrapped up
I don’t understand why we can’t get close enough
I’ll be the comets that are fallin from the sky you light up

Because I don’t understand why we can’t get close enough
I’ll miss the shivers in my spine every time that we touch.

Excerpts from Closer by Jars of Clay

i guess this song reminds me of God's longing to be loved by me, but somehow i just wouldn't get closer...

Dear Lord, teach me to fall in love with You instead, like for real...
i wanna stop dreaming dreams of fantasy that may not ever come true...
i wanna wake up to realities of Your eternity...

i know i gave my first love away long time ago... but will You be my first love all over again? will You show me the secrets of Your heart..? like a lover only would?

the key between the pages is no longer there anymore... i gave it back.... but the marks left by the key is there... reminding me every time i flip the pages...

but let my heart sing of songs from you... if i am the capitals, will You be my cursive? i want to for in love with You, but i just dont know how...

but maybe like before... i am trying too hard? then help me let go....

but i think more importantly, help me understand why would You give and take away? its just no fun getting over it... i just wished You'd have a better way to teach me things...

but i know u have Your own reasons... just help me let go.... especially in times when i feel nostalgic.... @_@"" why do i have to e so sentimental?? gah..!! haha...=(

if i can describe annabelle in one word... i'd say "olive"...

not olive the food but olive, the galfren of popeye~! lol....

cos since the day i first met her... thats who she reminds me of...lol.... i mean she's cute in an "olive" sense...lol... dun tell her...sshhhh...keke....but i tell u she is so ganas (aggressive) while playing badminton today.... lol....

talking about badminton... it has been like centuries since i last touched the racket... today was very nice... and we will do it again next week..!!! haha... u sud come join us too? hmmm but u live far away huh.... and some of u live EVEN further...lol.... oh well.... but its like SO expansive... one hour about 20 plus dollars per hour...craziness.. back home its like 4 ringgit an hour... but i ended up paying 4 dollars anyway... but thats my SHARE!! ... lol..... (andrea says i use 'lol' too much...LOL...)

and we had a very funny warm-up exercise too...we actually boarded the wrong tram... we, as in andrew, annabelle and myself. and we only knew that we were on the wrong tram when the tram took a wrong turn...

olive: arent we suposed to be going that way?
andrew: isnt this 96?
me: NO... i thought i told u this is 86??
andrew: aiya... wrong tram!!

and soon after that, three monkeys was like running frantically from one end of southern cross station to the other end.... cos we saw tram 96 on the other end.... it was so breath-taking... seriously...LOL....and your truly was the last of the three...=( i felt so lousy...in a comical way...lol.....

i mean, olive was faster than me!! lol.....how u ever feel bad when olive is faster than u?? haha...pardon me..=P

but anyway... a conversation i had with andrew got me thinking... he asked me why wouldnt i get everyone to come for this sunday.... i told him i prefer a smaller group cos it gives me a better chance at getting to know everyone? but well... i couldnt help but wonder if i am segregating and forming my own click... i shouldnt... i think... gah... i dunno..... why must be pressured to know everybody when i could hardly even really know anyone in particular?? i dunno... i guess i just prefer more intimate relationships than those of an arms length?

anyway... its back to work... with sore toes due to excessive accute action at the court and cold fingers due to the cold weather... i feel like sleeping tho...hehe



on a separate note... i have been thinking.... what does really mean to fall in love with God? have i ever fell in love with God before? how will i ever understand the real meaning of love unless i truly fall in love with Him.... rite? well but that will be a different topic for a different day....

i walked out....wait... u know... i realize that i always like to start a post with me walking out of something... getting tacky... okay change style..

ahem

i....

i.........

tsk!

i WALTZED out of ( XD ) Annemarie's office realizing how blessed i am... =) i got H1 for my draft...yay... i mean like its my first time writing a research paper... i was like so afraid i'd mess up or something or i may come across too shallow? haha... but i got H1 so i thank GOD...=) u know why i realized that i am blessed? cos apparently some students are failing and i had to get out of her office so that she will have more time with em... o_O""" hehe...

i am going for batminton with andrew and edwin later... gosh... i can imagine me panting already... but i guess i'd update u later when im home...

everyone that i invited for sunday came back asking why are anita and amelin planning my night...lol... i dunno~! lol...=D but apparently something happened? so now its only amelin? well anything la i guess... =)

but i do feel bad... i mean with amelin working and all now...u guys dont need to do all that, really, but if u insist...XD....

but anyway... i told jess last night that i have something else up my sleeves...hehe... the free hugs are just part of it..haha... u'll see...=)



this blog is starting to fall silent again... must be my boring grandmother stories... haha

toodles~!

will u please pardon my manners but..

WHY IS IT SO FREAKING COLD???????

ahem.. okay... now back to the real me

=)

I HAVE A NEW SONG...=)

yes i believe that the song-writer in me has re-emerged from the sunken depths of the old richard.... it's alive..!!

(yea i know ..." T_T"""" " rite? yea okie..)

but i need a guitar...argh.... and i cant possibly be asking for matt's all the time.... WHY DIDNT I BRING MINE HERE???

=(

yea but its like i have a song to sing everyday now... dunno why....

actually... i do know why... the songs that i write are always from a heart that is close to God... i never believe that i write songs because i dont.. i just dont... i dont have any theory knowledge neither do i really understand the mechanisms of song-writing... but all i do know is how to pick up the guitar and sing... and the songs will just come... at its own pace at its own time... and the lyrics never really needed to be pushed.. because they will just come as well...

so u can say that my songs are a relfection of my walk in God... and if i am dry... no songs will ever come.. even if i try... thats just how it works... thts why i never really wanna take credit for songs that i write... cos i know its not me.. its never me...

anyway... the title of this song is "I'll Sing.." ...=) its really fun as well.... not ur conventional praise song..hehe... cant wait to get it finished on the guitar!!

i dont realli have the lyrics yet ... i only have the melody... but i already know what its gonna say... cos it was born from a heart that just wanted to sing... in every circumstances... in every insecurity...in every confusion... sing..=) in every celebration.. in every living second... sing..just sing ... =)

i dunno why am i so happy.. but "doing the right thing isnt always easy, but it is always right.."

right? =)

PEOPLE...!!!!!!

=) i had to wait till i come back home before i can make this post... just now was too chaotic... and i had to rush so i hadnt got time to post what i wanted to...

i was kinda late for my submission today... hopefully its not too late... like bout 20 minutes?? lol...anyway...u wanna know WHY???

when i was about to leave my apartment, i got a ring on the intercom...

*buzzzzz*
MC-53: hello?
Buzz: Hi i've got a parcel for you
MC-53: may i know who is it for?
Buzz: erm.. richard lee

*eyes gleam*

MC-53: i'll be right down

i walked back into my apartment wondering what on earth it is.. altho i kinda knew what it is gonna be...lol.... but i was like this whole package from andrea???



then i noticed something....

i was like oh great what did u guys do now??? whats inside??? LOL

and mind u... i noticed one or two ants trying to get in the box...

and when i opened it...TADA~!


and the first thing i noticed was this notice


LOL... well thank God everything is still inside

so guess wat i found? =)

there was actually a green envelope but i ignored it...lol... i was too excited to see what would be inside...

and in a way, everything inside was "food"...no wonder got invaded by the mangy customs...haha




i was like OMG.....!!!! this so reminds me of aling larrrr..... we saw this on our first and last "date" before i left for aussie...

its actually an armrest...but its done so synthetically well... its smells, feels and looks like a real donut..!! =) ... yummy....=D

and then...i found something that gave those quarantine fellas even more reason to open this package....


looks wat's inside..=)




the bottle looks like it has been tempered with... and perhaps they actually took a few pills for testing...T_T""""
then i tilted the bottle to read whats underneath...


can't it be anymore obvious that this is not drugs????

haha...

anyway...the BEST PART...


HONEY STARS~!!!!!!!!
yyaaaayyyyy~~~!!!!!!!!!

hehe...

okay all my aussie frens... honey stars is something that you guys just dont have..!!! i remember walking up and down the cereal aisle of Safeway and i could find no Honey Stars... i was like sulking already...Honey Stars is like my favourite cereal kay...lol.... i mean im like the only big kid at the cereal aisle everytime my family go shopping... and without fail i would just grab Honey Stars everytime... =)

OMG guys u really didnt have to.... but still...YAY...lol




then only came the time where i opened my green envelope


and inside was this


i flipped it over and i found this


i noticed alicia's note =)


and she had to end with this...


and then i noticed andrea's note..=D


and the last one was

pie?? what pie? lol

anyway guys... just to be serious abit here... quarantine and customs here are like super duper strict okay?


so next time try not to send anything that resembles drugs or food ya?? lol...or else u and i may be called in for questioning... serious no joke... =)

but still

THANK U...!!! =) u made me SO happy today.....

u made my heart went AAAWWWW...hehe

but uh... they're all back in the box already.... i cant bare to use them... altho i do know i would have to eat the Honey Stars before it expires...hehe...

SO TO ALL MY FEMALE FANS OUT THERE..

MMUUUAAAKKZZZZZZ~~~!!! =D

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

You Light Up My Life by Debbie Boone

for some strange reason this was the background music this time around... i mean like... HELLO???? i was like rushing up and down because the printer was giving me problem... the cycle here was brain freezing and i actually forgot that i have to submit thru the online system..!! my mind was like AAAAHHHHH...!!!

but yet at the back of my mind...

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

T_T"""""

and somehow... memories of my mother kept coming back... especially her words, " i married your father because he is a man of integrity.."

u know i never forgot those words.. one of those things i will never ever forget... cause sometimes i feel like i am not a man of integrity, yet...

of all the things that i picked up from my father....there are two things in my life i am yet to pick up

1) his impetuous fussiness with being tidy...XD
2) his integrity

and i asked myself... will u be a man of integrity? to keep to your word and never look back?? to mean what you say and do what u mean... to live by the principles of God... and not to ever be swayed by the temptations of the world...

this is my father

and honestly, all i really wanna do.. is to hear him say at the end of the day that he is proud of me...(gosh im tearing again.... but im in the comlab!!! richard.... !!) well... not that he never did say that... but it is my heart's desire... to make my father proud of who i am and who i will become...

i know life here has changed me so much... it has only been 2 months... but i know i have grown alot...and one of the things i know God is teaching me is to keep to my promises...

to be a man of integrity

IT'S EIGHT DEGREES NOW....

WHY IS IT SO FREAKING COLD???

*WAILS*

AND ITS GONNA BE LIKE THAT THIS WHOLE WEEK..!!!!

*WAILS*

AND FROM WHAT I HEAR, IT'S BURNING HOT IN MSIA...

...........

WAKAKAKAKKKAKAKAKAKA

but still.....

WHY IS IT SO FREAKING COLD???

*WAILS*

P.S: I NEED TO STOP USING RED FONTS ...LOL