its 1am

and coincidentally the song playing on my laptop is "Now That You're Near"

the chorus sings

now that You're near
everything is different
everything is different Lord
i know im not the same
my life You've change
i wanna be with You
i wanna be with You

thank GOD... second part of my week is done.
i started out clueless but He gave me clues....
i have to sleep coz i have more tmr morning...

i was very afraid how the night would turn out
i was fighting in my heart
it was a real battlefield
i had no peace, no focus, i couldnt do anything
but the night came
and suddenly i knew i am ready to take the night
and somehow i knew everything is gonna be alrite

because we now walk in the light
we cant possibly go wrong anymore
and i thank GOD for u
i dont have the answers as to why all these happen
it caught me by surprise too
but i do know this

the end will justify the pain it took to get us there (smiley J....XD)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats the opening of the latest movie in town

CONFESSIONS OF A STRESSED OUT BUNNY

soon enough it might be

OBITUARY OF A STRESSED OUT BUNNY

=(

Lord help me take this week

step
by
step

=(

why would i call myself a bunny anyway? golly richie ur so random..lol

i need a pinch on my cheek...
*sulk*

today i found out that there are people who read my blog so ardently, like i just wrote it this morning and when i go to church someone just came up and say "i read ur blog post." wow thats fast... well done man...lol...i appreciate that

but i wonder, do u read the rest? did u watch the two vids?? the eggs??

no? then "WHAT U DOIN??"

well my honoured fans of me, u do know that i am writing this as an indirect communication with the outside world no? some form of responds can be nice...............like really i wasnt being sarcastic. i meant it. ah forget it.

i mean like u dun have to be a total silent rite? i means theres so many ways to correspond with me like facebook, email and i learned today theres something called a "tweeter" (wat??) LOL...

but uh well... its okay. up to u. as long as i know somehow ur there reading...

self control rite? i get it...

OK CHANGE TOPIC

ahem

i learned today that to date u gotta tel ur leaders.....

*awkward silence*

and after that u can pray about it

and after that when God says yes thats the present under the tree

then u can go and tell the fated guy or gal

but what if the guy or gal doesnt like u back?

but its God's will?

*awkward silence*

so what the fated guy and gal would next do is go pray about it

and after that when God says yes thats the present under the tree

u live happily ever after

*baffled silence*

errmm......

change scenario

now both of u like each from the start

and u know it

so erm both of u go pray too

and after that when God says yes thats the present under the tree

happily ever after

but what if

what if ...

i mean its like SO hard, no?

if in the first place you already like the gal

and u have to pray about it but then of cos its always easier to hear wat u want

so how do u know for sure she is the one?

.................

but u wanna know what i think?

i think it takes ALOT of faith to actually go thru with that

and if you cant. well lets just say u may regret it?

i dunno. i mean who am i to judge. but we all wanna land up with the right person no?

................

no one ever said doing the rite thing is ever easy...

SELF CONTROL

LOVE PATIENCE

.."REMEMBER"..




OK CHANGE TOPIC

noticed i made a lil change to my blog?

so instead of being obnoxiously annoyed by me, u can be my therapist..!!! how cool?

cos i realize every comment is like a mental therapy ...hmmm.....

i cant imagine that..LOL

toodles..!

P.S. - LOTTO~!!! IF U CAN READ, AND I KNOW U CAN'T, REMEMBER TO HOP ON UR MASTER'S BAG FOR EASTER CAMP. WE ARE GONNA HAVE A BALL OF A TIME~! (Like literally..lol)

just don't bully me...XDXD

good morning

its 7.04 am in the morning

and i have something to say

havent been able to sleep wel tonight

my mind has been filled with thought flying here and there

but wat i read just now confirms everything

and i just wanna share this with u

someone once shared with me:

" for me, its not infatuation. it's lust."

at first i thought it was just nonsense. i mean, it can very well be her own opinion. and i respected that. i thought infatuation is just innocence.

but i was wrong.

take time to read this

i have read this before. but it has never been so real to me until today.

God speaks thru miraculous ways.

its entitled

I ATE MY LOVE LETTER
(WHEN CRUSHES CRUSH YOU)

My High School Crush

I never dated in high school, but I had one major crush that lasted from sophomore to senior year. Kelly had beautiful blonde hair, sparkling green eyes, and a gorgeous smile. I wanted to date Kelly more than any girl I knew. She was quiet and mysterious. She never threw herself at boys. She never brought attention to herself, but I was always paying attention to her. I wrote a love poem to her that I always kept in my back pocket, waiting for the opportunity to give it to her.

Near the middle of my senior year, I realized I was running out of opportunities to pursue Kelly. In a matter of months I was heading off to college, probably never to return…unless I had a reason to. I decided to run track in the spring because Kelly did and I wanted to be around her. I hated running so I did the pole vault. (As a side note, the pole vault is not something you just decide to do on a whim—you either end up looking stupid, getting hurt, or both. Luckily for me, I only looked stupid.) I went to track meets, tried my hardest to pole vault, and watched Kelly.

Prom time rolled around and I decided it was my last chance. I called Kelly up and asked her to the prom. She said yes! Kelly looked beautiful on prom night and I loved just being with her. On the way to our After Prom we sat silent, driving through the dark countryside. My hearting was beating straight through my chest. I realized this was the only time I would ever have Kelly’s complete attention—I had to tell her how I felt about her. Finally, I broke the silence. I tried to explain my feelings, stumbling over my words, and Kelly just sat there watching me. I bombed. We got to After Prom and things were awkward the rest of the night.

At track practice the next Monday, one of the good-looking athletes on the track team walked up to me. He said he wanted to date Kelly and asked for my permission. I was speechless. What was I going to say? No?

The next day we had a track meet and word came that they were seeing each other. On the dark bus ride home I sat in stunned silence. I pulled the love letter to Kelly out of my pocket. I stared at it for a while—then I took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. I took another bite, and then another. I bit off piece after piece, word after word, washing it all down with Powerade until the entire piece of paper was gone.

Kelly would never read my love letter.

What I Wish I Knew Then

I’ve learned a lot about girls, relationships, and myself since then. I know that sometimes you just have to learn things the hard way and even if you heard the truth you might not listen, but if I could go back in time, this is what I would tell myself:

1. Crushes are disappointing, no matter what the outcome. If things go badly, you get turned down, or worse, ignored. If things go well, you may start seeing each other. But then one day it hits you—this guy or girl is nowhere near the amazing person you thought they were. Your crush isn’t always good-looking, isn’t always fun, isn’t always nice. And that happiness you thought you’d have is nowhere to be found.
2. Crushes are top-heavy. Some people will say that the problem with crushes is that they aren’t real. Actually, the problem is that crushes are too real—too real for the relationship. You have so much emotion (love, desire, and longing) that the small amount of relationship you do have with your crush can’t stand the weight of it. There is no committed friendship on which to build.
3. Crushes are often a mixture of love and lust. That’s why it’s often so difficult to decide if they are good or bad. You truly love your crush. You want the best for them, you pray for them, and you wish you could show them how much you care for them. But you also lust after them. Lust is simply desiring something or someone that is not yours. A crush isn’t yours to desire. That may sound unreasonable, but let me offer one reason why I think God gives this rule: Lusting after your crush will set you up for disappointment with the person God does give you, because you are desiring a perfect person you could never have. God will one day provide you with the husband or wife he has designed for you, but you will still be in the habit of looking and lusting for that unattainable crush. Who’s hurt then? Not just you, but your husband or wife as well.

Go And Crush No More

Can you hear a piece of advice from one guy who’s been there? Don’t crush. Kelly was not the girl God had for me even though I desperately wanted her to be. Yes, it’s inevitable that you’re going to like people—there’s nothing wrong with that! God designed us to be attracted to the opposite sex and to desire relationship. But focus your attention on building friendships, not fantasies. Exhibit true love, which is sacrificial action. Pray that God would make that girl or guy you like more like him, not that God would make them talk to you. Encourage all your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t just compliment that one guy or girl on how amazingly attractive they are. I spent so much time, energy, and emotion crushing on a girl and now there’s nothing to show for it—not even a love letter.

ITS HAPPENING AGAIN !!!

THE ITCH TO PICK UP MY HANDPHONE TO TYPE LIL INSY-PITSY MSGS...!!!!

SELF CONTROL RICHIE !!!!!

SO INSTEAD I WILL JUST SAY IT HERE...

SWITCH OFF YOUR LIGHTS !!!!

ITS EARTH HOUR !!!!!!!!

SO IF U ARE READING DIS AND U DIDNT SWITCH OFF UR LIGHTS.....

EARTH HATER...!! XDXDXDXD

BUT THEN WHO CARES?

I DUN... SO Y SUD U?

LOL

........................(psst..!!! will u be my therapist? )

never forget

can i be honest?

from the first day i touched down at melbourne airport, i have made this silent prayer and have always been saying this same prayer.

i prayed, "God, will ever find my place here? God, will i ever call this home? God, will i ever have a hope and a future here?"

and somehow God did show me that i have somewhere where i belong. a place that i can call home. and maybe somewhere in the near future when all is done i have a hope and a future.

but now i fear. i fear that i am going to lose it all over again.

i have already lost my home back in malaysia. all the friends and family that i have taken for granted. all of them that i only came to miss when i am here. all alone in my own lil cubicle. behind closed doors where no one hears me.

but the Lord brought me His friend. A friend who knows my name. A friend who hears. and somehow i know i am safe.

but its all just crashing down now. all over again.

i was just talking to Cathy over dinner just now. and i asked out of concern for her if she is affected by the government's decision to cut down migrants. she say she is praying not, after al she came before the verdict. but she turned to me. and she asked if i am. i said i shouldnt be i am a student after all. but she pointed out that if i want to work, the situation will be different.

i was stunnned for a moment.

my lips just utter the naked truth after that, "if i cant find work i will have to go back......."

......

i dont know... its just crazy....

one time is enough. i dont wana go thru it all over again. not when i have found a place where i belong. a plce where my heart is found. not when a piece of my heart is missing already....

its just unfair

......

and somehow i know that this tme i am genuine. you cant go wrong when tears clog up your eyes talking about this...

how do i write memories into blank pages when the pen is empty? i may never get to write anything at all.....

......

its just typical of the devil you know. to write me off just like that.. but no, i will not be moved. like what Jessica said, there is power in prayer..=)

God is good. He has been very good. from the clothes that i wear to the food that i ate. He is good. and He will never let me go.

i know you wouldn't...=) would you?

and perhaps together we can write the pages after all... mine in capitals and yours in cursive...and together, the story may never end....

Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

HE will turn it over for good.. i'm sure...

..."REMEMBER"...

first of all


what the heck was that?????

its called monetize... how more tacky can u get google? gosh...

and secondly.... guess what i found on the dining table when i returned from cell yesterday..

its the same pear...hehe... cute huh....and and!! theres more!!


isnt that like the freakiest tomato in the world?? lol... i cant bear to eat it.. just so... i dunno... thers sumthing artistic about it..XDXD

and i had to throw away two bags of pita bread..=(( cos it was all moldy and all.. had patches of green fungus all of em....too eewwy to show on this blog..lol

i gave a testi at youth last night. had TOTALLY no idea what i was rambling about. i just spoke what came to my lips... dangerous. haha... and i shared how God is teaching me how to deal with my pride and ego since the day i arrived at aussielia...

but then before the night was thru i also learned that God is teaching me self control....ahhh.... He realy hit the dot this time...

self control, patience, love and long suffering( erm the last one seemed a lil over exaggerated..lol)

but anyway... self control

its gonna harder said than done... said it before im gonna say it again... its gonna be harder said than done...

but anyway.... self control

i know somehow its not really self control this time... its God control... He will be my guide and our guide and i know one day things will be alright.. it will all fall into place... =)

i can almost see it coming.. and i can't wait... err...no wait, self control, richie....arrrrrr

OK CHANGE TOPIC

lets talk about how much i hate blogging

u know how ppl blog and they expect the whole world to not read thier blog? WRONG

u know how evil powers of the blog will just suck u in thinking that you should just pen down all your thoughts and somehow it gives u tht notion that its alrite, no one is watching? WRONG

so where is the privacy anyway rite?

now what happens if you actualy do set a password to the blog and only u can read it? but then al of the suden u realize that no one reads ur blog and u go all self-pity and all cos no one reads em... no one comments on em... like no one cares...

on that note, if u haven set a password and its open to all , and u put so much effort into updating it and all and no one leaves a comment... isnt that just sad?? rite rite??

but then u cant really be too honest, cos its dangerous, when everyone knows ur thoughts...

u see the irony of it? huh huh???

okay... m i like getting way too intimidating for some of u? lol... sori~! just rambling again...



the truth is... this cming week is gonna be C-R-A-Z-Y and i am not sure if i'd survive...

to be honest my last week was something like this video (u gotta watch the whole thing aite???)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tN5Z6C2FXM

it was very laid back...way too laid back... ( i like it how they use sign language to convey the msg tho')

and SO because of that... my coming week is gonna be someting like these fellas in this video
(u gotta watch the whole thing aite???)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2Cfg3swvbc

LOL....."what she doin??" LOL "im gonna jump"...XDXD

i have THREE MAJOR SUBMISSION in a the same week.. talk about heavy, thats heavy..







alrite i should get going...

and oh... about the blogging part...dont bother ya.. i mean like, who cares if only like a SMALL amount of ppl leaves comments or thers ONLY one follower in this blog... who cares rite? no biggie.. REALLY....(????) dun BOTHER....XDXD

so wats for lunch today? hmm lets see.... leftover chicken...bread...cheese....potatoes..tomatoes.. and........ eggs? XD ..... "WHAT HE DOIN???"

toodles~!

I HAVE FINISHED MY CONTOUR MODEL...FINALLY..

YYYAAAAYYYYY........!!!!!!!!

XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

I WAS LIKE SO WORRIED IT WENT WRONG COZ I MADE A STUPID MISTAKE AT THE START..

WORRIED I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN

BUT THANK GOD FOR CALCULATORS AND SCALE OPTIONS

WWWWEEEEEEEEE~~~~~!!!!!!!

SO NOW ITS FINISHED...!!!

BUT I STILL HAVE A DESIGN TO THINK OF...

ARRRR...BUT WHO CARES??

MY FINISHED MY CONTOUR MODEL

WWWEEEEEEE~~~!!!!

DISCLAIMER:
THIS IS NOT RICHARD. THIS IS JUST A MANIFESTATION OF A PERSON WHO HAS NO OTHER MEANS OF VENTING HIS JOY AND FRUSTRATION OTHER THAN THIS LIL BLOG.

ANYWAY........

WWWEEEEEEE~~~!!!!

I SHOULD CELEBRATE...!!!

WITH WHAT? CHOCOLATE?

HMMM...... NAH... NANTI I GET SORE TOAD PULAK
(AUSSIE FRENS, IF U DIDNT UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I MEANT WAS "I WILL GET SORE TOAD LATER")

SO... I WILL JUST CELEBRATE... IN MY OWN LIL WAY.. I GUESS...

=(

AH WHO CARES????

WWWEEEEEEE~~~!!!!

i realize that when u start a day well, your day will usually turn out well

why??

cos somehow for some strange reason i really liked the lunch i prepared for myself today..XD and i left home happy... looking forward to a new and glorious day.

yes i know this is weird... but who cares...

its like suddenly blogging isnt so bad anymore...

but u and i know i still hate blogging..XD

and u know how i usually know if my day would be good?

its when i cycle to uni all the way in gear 3...

LOL...lame i know...

but hey... its quite hard sometimes and i would have to shift to gear 2 to help me lazy bum... i dunno why... perhaps its just one of the hazards of being obese? XD

im NOT that fat okay...

Head Eggs, Sore Toads and Half Baked Potatoes

u know... funny how before i blog i would have a thousand and million words running thru my head and how its gonna be so animated with this expression and that gesture and bla bla bla... and when i actually do sit down to write something...the words BORINGGGGGG... just writes all over my face and i stop.. soon after that my finger would be on the backspace tab and i would start all over again...

i hate blogging...

XD

Head Eggs and Sore Toads seem like close friends to me nowadays... the silly toad just wouldn't leave!!! it al started with my insatiable fascination with touberone. (is that how u spell it? ah who care..) i sorta like munched down two bars in one shot...that night my throat was burning already...stupid chocalate.. tempt me no more...lol

Half Baked Potatoes... haha... get Richard to try to make potato salad and u get half baked potatoes,....




Gosh this must be like the most boring entry of the century....

i hate blogging...word

this is a post i wrote sometime back but just didnt bother to upload it...

random thoughts i guess


maybe redemption is stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself
where you gonna go?
where you gonna go?
salvation is here
Switchfoot - I Dare You To Move

where'd you run to, you o sanity
where'd you gone to
maybe a new page isnt so far away
maybe a new day is just an hour away
but to pick up the pen
or to turn the clock
takes too much of u, doesnt it you o sanity

try as u may
galaxies apart
but you trail will stay
your past will catch your heart

maybe a new page isnt so far away
maybe a new day is just an hour away
maybe home
isnt so far away

DID U KNW ???

the BIG QUESTION on everybody's mind...

are you ready???






























WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH THIS RICHARD AH? GO DO A BLOG AND DONT UPDATE THE BLOG... WASTING MY TIME JE COMING TO SEE HIS BLOG... LOUSY FELLA...

wellllll.... if u read the invisible disclaimer, you would have noticed that i hardly ever blog to start with..lol.... so CONGRATULATIONS..!!! today is your day!!... i am updating !!! finally.!!!

XDXDXD killme

well OBVIOUSLY u din noe me well enuf to think that i will update this blog regularly... but anyway... lemme tell u wat else u dunno about me.. (and i dun blame u if u dunno bout these BUT aling !!! how can i like mango??!!! u misled everyone!!! XD)

DID YOU KNOW......

EVER SINCE RICHARD CAME TO AUSTRALIA, HE....
1) attends cell?
2) puts on moisturiser everyday... twice a day samo...sometimes even more
3) has two tones on both his arms due to radiation of the sun
4) walks
5) does not believe that he actually walks
6) cycles
7) really like cycling now
8) take 2 tablets of ginseng, 2 tablets of andrographis paniculata (its paniculata, not pina colada) and 2 tablets of chewable vitamin c everyday
9) takes his bath within 4 minits
10) dries himself even faster before he starts shivering
11) sleeps at 12am everyday..(or at least tries to)
12) wakes up 7 am everyday .. (or at least tries to)
13) touched the guitar for only one time
14) missing malaysian assam laksa already
15) realises how much he misses home
16) realizes how much he misses his family
17) realizes how much he miss gtsd
18) relaizes how much he misses his frens at gtsd
19) relizes he should sleep now
20) realizes he missed out one more thing - do you know that i keep a record of all my expenses now? lol
21) erm....
22) keeps a diary
23) keeps an organizer
24) found facebook still so boring
25) has tuna sandwiches for this week and chicken sandwiches for the next week, and tuna sandwiches for the next week, and chicken sandwiches for the next week, and....
26) realize how much he feels lost in a supermarket
27) realize how much he dunno how to buy ingredients
28) makes his bed every morning
29) irons his clothes every week
30) likes to smile at how annoyed u r at my lengthy list..XD
31) has been blessed by God in so many unseen ways
32) waits to see what else God will bring his way
33) wants to watch pirated DVD again
34) wants to have unlimited internet again
35) misses his nokia phone
36) hates his new motorola v9
37) realizes he should reallllly sleep now
38) knows you will wonder when wil my next post will be and realize that you will be waiting on it with immense anticipation..konon-nya..XD