oh i am so excited.. like a little boy in a corner... waiting for the right time to leap in joy and say "YYAAAYYYYYY....."
yet at the same time i feel... weary.. kinda... a lil... haha... i'm in denial... well, yes of cos, who wont be a tad afraid if he is going for his first interview? =DD
but yes i am... tmr.... wow wee~! =DD
i am just so happy right now because the week is almost over.. and the only thing left this week is that interview.. OH DEARS....
and i guess i am tired.. cant wait to get home and crash... oh but i bought oh-so-lovely mars bars just now... just to help me feel less crappy... just so tired...
***
dear God
i know life is such that You give me sweets in times of weariness.. like Mars bars in my tiredness.. You are just so random sometimes.. or rather, lately, You have been just random.. so many surprises... so many lovely gifts You have given me...
but i am afraid.. afraid i will lose it all.. but then sometimes i think about it.. what do i have anyway.. everything and everyone i have now is from You... You own them all... i have no control..
i used to be so self driven and self assured... i never really think twice about what i do... but now things are different... i dunno why but they just are... i guess i just need to be really sure this time, before i take the plunge...
i guess its time to take my prayer to another level... to not just persevere and preserve but i guess in the end, show me, show me that this is meant to be.. i must confess i am very skeptical about how this will all work.. and really in the end, the best way i know how to test if this is real, is thru time.. is to wait... because all along i have never waited... so this time i will wait....
so just as Jacob made a list and believe for you to fulfill it.. i am now making my own list.. untill You fulfill em or prove me wrong.. then i will just wait...
and while i wait.. help me to be contented with daffodils and mars bars.. that life is such that the end will justify the pain it took to get us there...
You make all things beautiful in Your time
So i lay this interview in Your Hands.. if they are for me, i know You will see me thru..
Amen
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