Wednesday, May 6, 2009

would you give me time? would you let me learn?

my feet is starting to smell... eww... i can smell it from here....eeww

okay... sorry to start off with my randomness... but yea *sniff*... eeww.... LOL =)

at least im not bringing my lappie into the toilet anymore...LOL....eww! u thought i ws for real??...haha...

i know many of you have been asking how was my birthday... two words.. no, wait, three words... WARM N FUZZY..=)

but if u need more details, just make an appointment with me on msn...lol...=) just that its too long a story... better if you heard it straight off from my lips, better... =)

but ah... rmb the two promises i made? i think stumbled just now... it was SO easy to give in... sigh... yes... big boy already... gotta grow up.... =( but in any case, i thank God for pulling me back before i could have fallen... cos i know i rather wait till its safe to land, the long fall back to earth is the hardest part...

why i said my brithday was warm and fuzzy cos it was really one of a kind... it the only birthday so far where i got such a strong visitation of God... that morning at church i cried like a baby... and i kept crying.... i went on my knees and gave it all to God... all the unanswered questions... all the hidden hurts... all the avoided uncertainties... all possibilities of a future and hope.... i gave it all back..... it was difficult... but it was liberating... some of em asked me how was my bday... and i said liberating.. they gave me that weird look... lol.... but i know what i meant....

but today, just now, i fumbled... again, easily satisfied with progress... again easily put off track cos of a lil sweetness... richard....focus! i felt quite bad after that... felt that i dissappointed myself, dissappointed my friend, dissappointed God... =( but its funy how God always turns the table around everytime i do my devo....

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come
(2 Corinthians 5:17)


salvaton is not to be taken for granted... freedom is not us to take for granted... as much as we are free... we have to constantly seek restoration... restoration is total healing... but healing will take some time... always be mindful of ur actions... always be mindful of who u are... always be mindful of the prize... the goal.... the end....

so i am sorry... i slipped up today... dear friend, i wonder if you'd read this at all, but thank u, u never fail to keep me in check...=)

but dont worry... richie is up and running again... somehow i guess that sunday morning when i laid it all down at His Feet... power came... and somehow its easier now...

i mean, not just in this area, but in others as well... =)

like guys, i am like SO challenged to live my life to the full now.. like, i am asking myself so many 'why not's... like, why not go play soccer?... why not go throw some hoops?.... they're all not so bad.... why not try something else other than architecture? why not just live life to the full? so what if u may not get a job yet? whats stopping u from trying something else? and seriously i asked myself (believe or not)- why not try fishing as well? it may be fun... ( OMG...what is happening to me????? ...LOL) but yea, why not? i was like so skeptical about so many things, but after that encounter with God, i just feel...different.....

and my walk with God is so much more intimate now... like how i asked if i'd know how it feels like to love God like a lover? i think i am learning that more and more each day...=) He is like so much closer now... in morning when i wake...before i sleep.. when i bath... when i cycle... when im at uni...when im eating... He is like always there...=)

so yea, let go! live life! its a ball! get bouncing!! wee~!! (okay i need my pills...lol)



Lesson one - do not hide
Lesson two - there are right ways to fight
And if you have questions
We can talk through the night

Lesson three - you're not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run, this
will still be your home

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I've been where you're going
And it's not that far
it's too far to walk
But you don't have to run
you'll get there in time

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to
wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling,
bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence

There will be liars and
thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
And when you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you

If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one

Boys (Lesson One) by Jars of Clay

1 comment:

Andrea Kong said...

Oh you know, my walk with God has been revived too. I wake up and I'm excited to meet Him.
God is really good. He's planting me in good soil so that I may grow once again. And then He pours His Spirit on me that I may bear fruits throughout the seasons whether it's summer or winter.